Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
