sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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