I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
