try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
