New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
