Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
