you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
