Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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