You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
