A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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