he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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