He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
