I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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