she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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