so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
