found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
