All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
