super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
