i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
