1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
40s are totally the cure
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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