I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
no you cant smoke seaweed
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
