He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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