Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
FUCK WHALES
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