This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
