A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
