ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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