please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
