Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
