So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
