ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
