Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize