I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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