The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
