I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
