community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
