like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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