oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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