Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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