So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
