I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
