I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
