I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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