just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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