i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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