i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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