let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
