It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
