Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
