I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am naked and annoyed.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
