I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
