remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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