His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
