its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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