Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
